LEADERSHIP IN THE HOME

What kind of parents did you have?  Were they strict?  Were they authoritative?  Perhaps 
they were lenient and loose in their guidance?  The style of leadership a parent exerts in 
the home will greatly affect both the relationship of the parent to their children and the 
attitude of their children toward others in authority throughout their lives.  Especially 
significant will be the child's beliefs regarding God.  Our first images of God are usually 
rooted in our attitudes and feelings toward our parents and their style of leadership.
	
There are three types of leadership and each displays itself differently in the home.  First, 
there is the power of position.  In other words, the parents exercise authority because they 
are the parents.  When I was growing up, this style of leadership was often demonstrated 
by this response to my questions—"Because I said so!"  Most of the time that was good 
enough.  I recognized mom and dad's authority and I understood that it was derived from 
the fact that they were my parents.  God gave them that authority and I usually respected 
it.  The inspired apostle Paul wrote, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is 
right" (Eph. 6:1).  Parents have the "right" to exercise leadership in the home.
	
The second type of leadership is the power of competency.  Unfortunately, many parents 
are not too competent.  This authority comes after training and experience.  Many of us 
are better parents with the second and third child than we were with the first.  We were 
experimenting with that one.  However, with good mentors and proper training, most 
parents can become competent as leaders of the home.  Paul said of the older women of 
the church that they should "train the younger women to love their husbands and 
children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home" (Titus 2:4-5).  Many 
parenting skills need to be learned before being experienced.
	
Finally, there is the leadership that comes from character.  As our children get older, they 
should see in their parents a mature, Christian character that should engender both respect 
and honor.  While the powers of position and competency are important, parents do their 
best work when they lead from character.  I hope my sons remember what I have taught 
them because it was reflected in my lifestyle, not just because I said so!
	
Parenting involves the utilization of all three leadership styles.  It is the wise parents that 
knows when to use which style for the best results.  May God bless all of our parents as 
they seek to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  


Leslie S. Chapman